Pity
by DisturbedRogue
Summary: Rogue's thoughts on V-Day. Jean bashing and a slight mystery in the beginning. Maybe confusing at first.


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'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' 'True love conquers all.' 'Listen to your heart and you can't go wrong.'....... 

You could name any saying that has to do with love and I've probably heard it. Either from the past of someone I've absorbed or on first hand experience. It's amazing how people treat me with regards to this holiday. "Oh it must suck not to be able to have a boyfriend." "She's never even had her first kiss." "Not being able to touch must make it really hard to have a happy V-day" 

But of all the things I hear around this mansion, there's one thing I hate the most. "Poor Rogue, I feel sorry for her." I hate it when people feel sorry for me. I hate it when the other people here go through all the angst that their mutations cause them. Not just the fact that I probably have it worse, but the fact that people out in the world have it worse than me.

People out there who have immune systems so bad they have to live in a sterile glass room. To have their family have to put on radiation suits so they don't contaminate their daughter. At least I can feel through clothing, they can't even leave the same room without drastic precautions and even then it still really sucks.

Of all the people here, there are some that I really admire. And some that really disgust me. Take Kurt for instance. I don't pity him, I don't despise him, and I don't admire him. I relate to him. For both of us it seems that there is no way to win. He messes around and a part of his mutation shows. What happens? He gets yelled at. So then he acts more quiet, careful, and tries not to stick out. Then what happens? He gets chided for not acting like himself and then gets accused for pitying himself. No matter how he acts there will always be someone to tell him that he's either being to irresponsible or to fake. Like I said, there's no way to win.

Then there's Kitty. Poor Kitty never got a chance to fit in at her old school and knows once mutants are discovered she won't get a chance at her new one. She's like most of the other people at this school; she has no idea how easy she has it.

Take Ray Crisp for example. His child-hood was far from easy. Then I look at Sam or Rahne who had it all right and what am I supposed to do? Jean pretty much hates them. Miss Perfect has had _so_ many problems with her mutation, school, and popularity. _How is the girl supposed to cope?_ Maybe the fact that she has so much self-pity is the fact that I dislike her. Everyone else thinks it's because her life is so controlled that she knows exactly what people are thinking even without being a telepath. Don't get what I mean? You will later.

Bobby and Jamie help to balance out Jean's bitchiness. Bobby, often with the help of Kurt, also makes it one of his main purposes to make people smile. Jamie admires Bobby so he also is often found trying to cheer people up. I could go into all the psychological reasons that the professor has come up with to why certain people act the way they do. He thinks that Kurt tries to be as goofy as possible just to hide his own self-consciousness. I can buy into that for being part of the reason but I really just think that he's a good guy. Sure lots of shit happened in his past but he's getting over it. Some people in this town though have crappy ways with dealing with their problems. They either brush them off and hope they go away or they do something possibly worse. They dwell on them. Agonize and complain about the situation as much as possible. Then they continue to do that until someone notices them and usually pities them.

So what does pity have anything to do with Valentines Day? Though whole fact that almost everyone in this damn town expects me to pity myself. Everyone except Scott and Logan.

Scott is the one person here who never stops to amaze me. Don't start thinking I have a crush on him or anything. Not like I've gotten over my Caldecott Cutie already. If there were anyone beside Logan that I admire it would probably be Scott. His past has a trauma level that rivals my own. His mutation is also uncontrollable and could also kill if there was the slightest mistake. But unlike Jean he doesn't pity himself. There are no thick layers of angst or pity. Just a good guy trying to help others. I know, I know. Why don't I just start a fan club for the guy? He's so popular at school though its probably already been done. Unfortunately he's not popular enough to remain Jean Grey's boyfriend for more than a week.

Not that I think he'd be better as my boyfriend. It's not just the whole touch thing or the fact that I'm still crushing over another guy that I don't have a boyfriend. There's just no one here that seems worth my affection. I'm just kidding but seriously, no one here is my 'type.' And by that I don't mean Goth. Storm thinks that if I could touch I would dress more 'happily'. You know that's not true though. Sure, I'm bitchy to keep people from touching me now but I was never preppy back in Mississippi. Even if I was more social back then than I am now.

The one saying that I don't agree with about Valentines Day is that it's only a holiday that either "reminds you how great love is or how desperately alone you are in the world" I don't really feel like I belong to either of those. We both know that what took place in Mississippi was just a really good friendship. Too bad the results were so bad. So what if I don't have a person for Valentines Day? I don't feel alone or depressed and don't think I should have to either. Just because society expects me to act someway doesn't mean I will.

Well that's about it. I hope that you have fun tonight and good luck with the game. You'll always be my favorite football player, even if you are going out with another girl.

Yours always, 

Marie

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"Rogue, Danger Room in 2 minutes." Logan announced after entering her room.

"Okay, be there soon." She replied after hitting the send button on her computer.

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"You have mail," Said the computer from its spot on the desk. The teenager climbed off of his bed and sat in front of the monitor. After seeing the sender's name he smiled and immediately began to read.

'Yours Always,

Marie' 

The name brought back memories but was interrupted by his mom's voice from down stairs.

"Cody, the game starts in an hour. Are you ready yet?"

"One minute" called down the blond haired boy.

He grabbed his keys off a shelf and headed towards the door. On the shelf was a picture of him and his best friend from second grade. It was a seen taken by the Mississippi River itself. A picture of a happy boy who had blond hair and blue eyes and a smiling girl with emerald eyes and red hair.....

With an innocent streak on the sides. Cody Robbins and Marie Alder. A girl who now exists in the past.

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The End.


End file.
